The whole home study thing feels like our lives are under a very powerful microscope. Our decisions--bad and good--are being examined. Our financial decisions, our parenting decisions, our flooring decisions (okay, I may have gone too far on that one...) our school district, choice of doctors, and on and on and on...
And then there is the money thing. I went into this whole venture clinging to Psalm 50:10 where it states that our Heavenly Father "owns the cattle on a thousand hills." He owns it all and controls it all--I am so confident in that. And yet, at this point I would honestly like to "liquidate" some of that livestock for cold. hard. cash.
I told you I was going to be transparent! Sometimes that is not so pretty, but I will always keep it real. I am not super-spiritual or always full of faith. I am just a plain old mother who doubts, fears, falls and has hard days. What I do know is this: God called Rob and I to move thus far. We have to walk this step by step.We have to continue each day to take the next step until we bring A home or He causes this journey to end in a different way.
"And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives all men life, and breath and everything else." Acts 17:25
So I will choose to trust in Him and His timing. I will "practice" Hebrews 12:1-2 each day. I will "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles" (for me--fear and doubt) and I will "run with perseverance the race marked out" for me. And finally, I will "fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith." (this was all His idea) That's really what this adoption (and everything in life for that matter) is all about--fixing our eyes on Jesus.