Friday, February 17, 2012
Here is how it all began...
This is the beginning of our story. I am going to try to be clear as I start, but since I was doubtful we would ever even get this far, I did not blog until now. I have felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to write and I desire to be obedient so here goes...
Over the Christmas holidays we were very short on money. Not because we overspent for Christmas, we just simply didn't have a lot of extra money. Rob recently took an new job (of which was God-ordained and we are very thankful for) with a significant pay cut. Add to that we sent Shelby to college, and well, we did not spend our holidays like we have in years past. Typically we would go out to eat a lot, see a couple of movies, and enjoy our share of after Christmas sales. Not so this year. Not a bad thing, just a different thing.
Rewind to Spring of 2011. One evening Rob asked me if I was Facebook friends with someone we attended church with before we came to our present church. I said no, and he read me a humorous post and I laughed. Then I proceeded to be a Facebook Creeper. I admit it--I am guilty. But what I found out about this family changed my life.
They have adopted children with special needs internationally through an advocacy ministry. I immediately typed in the web address for this ministry and began looking at the many children who needed homes. I was overwhelmed with the amount of children, their special needs and the amount of money it cost to adopt one of these children. There was one little face on that website that stayed with me however...
Fast-forward back to Christmas, 2011. We were not only home a lot over the holidays, we were all actively following the precious adoption story (through this same advocacy ministry again...) of some friends at our church. We talked about their journey almost nightly. We were amazed at their faith, perseverance, and absolute certainty that this child, who was on the other side of the world, was their son. We were giddy with excitement when they got their travel date, and had eyes full of tears as we looked at their homecoming pictures.
Well, you can probably guess that I was stalking the advocacy site again! I looked at these faces--faces of precious children--children who had been set aside. Set aside by parents who did not feel they could properly care for them. I began to think about how quiet my house had recently become. One kid married...one kid at college...one kid at home who is gaining independence every day. And I started toying with the idea of whether we could adopt one of these precious children. Shelby even had "picked out" that precious little face again that we had looked at together back in the Spring. On a funny note we were kind of drawn to this 4 year old who's character traits included: "calm, easily tired." Shelby thought it a perfect match because since we would be "older parents" we could all nap together!
I began to pray for her. I put her picture on my phone. I thought about her constantly. I dreamed about her.
I showed her picture to Rob a couple of times and asked him to pray that she would find a home. He said he would. I prayed for several weeks. I knew this had to be a decision that God, myself and Rob first of all had to agree on. I prayed and told God that I could not put more pressure on my sweet husband (new job has long commute and long hours). I asked God, that if this was to go beyond a dream of mine, then He had to put this on Rob's heart. He had to be the next one to bring it up. Not me. No, I would step back and ask God to work. And wait. And if the only thing I was ever to do was to pray for this baby, I would pray until she found a home.
Our precious Morgan and Brian gave us a gift card to Kirby's for Christmas! We had reservations for Friday, January 13th and we were very excited. We got there, ordered our food and took a few sips of our iced tea. Then came the unimaginable! Rob said to me, "Okay, tell me all about this little girl and what it takes to adopt her." I was amazed, excited, scared....and we talked continually for the next three hours. We discussed how we seemed to be made for this amazing task, having already raised a daughter with special needs. We know all the good doctors, we know where to get good therapy, we know how to advocate within our school system....and the list went on. Then the questions came. What about our age? (we are good at math and realize that when she is 15 we will be like, uh, 60 and 62). What about our adult children? Is it fair to expect them to possibly care for another child when we leave this world? And then the money issue--we are making less and still paying for college tuition. How would we EVER find the money to do this? (did I mention we were concerned about money?) Do we have the stamina to do this? Will our employers be supportive? Will our parents think we have lost it? Will our friends, in general, think we are nuts? I could go on and on. But just know, we have asked ourselves about any question that anyone could think to ask.
And all we could do is pray. I made a list of "obstacles." I decided that when my list was all checked off then that would be God's "yes" to us. Rob said instead that we listen closely to God's voice and if He leads us to do this, then the list won't matter. Wow.
I still have my list and God has checked off many things on that list. But I don't worry over my list anymore. I am choosing to follow my husband who is peaceful and full of faith. I am choosing to seek hard after our God and ask and listen and wait.
Right now, there is a little girl half way across the world who desperately needs a Mommy and a Daddy. We are pretty sure God has called us to be her parents. We are working every day towards that end. We know our God has "hemmed her in behind and before, and laid His hand upon her." He has protected her, sustained her, and comforted her with His Spirit. He will, in His sovereignty, bring us together in His perfect time. We invite you to follow along with us on this journey and watch Him work. He is sure to show Himself mighty on her behalf.